What do we mean by the inner child?
Within my practice, an area I find immensely rewarding to work with is the inner child. It is a term that is used more commonly now, although it may not be clear exactly what this refers to or how we work with it within counselling, so I've written this blog to provide an overview of the concept:
The inner child refers to the parts of us that carry our early emotional experiences, memories, and learned responses from childhood. It includes how we learned to feel safe, connect with others, express emotions, and understand our worth. From a therapeutic and trauma-informed perspective, the inner child is not a single memory or age, but a collection of younger parts that developed to adapt to our environment. These parts may hold joy, curiosity, and creativity, as well as unmet needs, fear, or protective survival strategies.
In adulthood, the inner child can influence how we respond to stress, relationships, boundaries, and self-talk. Emotional reactions that feel bigger than the situation, fear of rejection, people-pleasing, or self-criticism often reflect an inner child seeking safety, reassurance, or understanding.
Working with the inner child involves approaching these experiences with compassion rather than judgment. The goal is not to relive the past, but to create safety in the present—allowing these parts to feel seen, supported, and integrated into a healthier sense of self.
Healing the inner child
Inner child healing is a trauma-informed approach that focuses on understanding and supporting the parts of you shaped by early life experiences. These parts carry emotional memories, unmet needs, and survival strategies that once helped you cope, even if they no longer serve you today.
When early experiences involved inconsistency, emotional neglect, or a lack of safety, the nervous system adapts. In adulthood, this can appear as emotional overwhelm, difficulty with boundaries, people-pleasing, hypervigilance, or self-criticism. These responses are not flaws—they are protective adaptations developed in response to your environment.
Healing begins by creating safety within the present moment. Through compassionate awareness, emotional regulation, and self-attunement, you can begin to build trust with these younger parts of yourself. This process supports nervous system regulation, reduces reactivity, and helps restore a sense of internal stability.
Inner child work does not require reliving traumatic experiences. Instead, it emphasises choice, pacing, and consent—allowing healing to unfold in a way that feels supportive rather than overwhelming. Over time, this approach can foster resilience, self-compassion, and more secure relationships with both yourself and others.
January 2026